Pissed Off and Eating Kale

I'm Caitlin. I'm 25, I'm an Aquarius, and iced lattes are my drug of choice. No more iced lattes for me, though. It's all "healthy choices" from here on out, and I am profoundly bummed.

This sums up my thoughts on oatmeal.

I have had Crohn's disease for fifteen years. I've had two surgeries, been on liquid diets, been on steroids off and on for years, and have been on (and am currently on) all manner of toxic, injectable drugs.

The latter are most troubling to me. Thanks to these little buddies, I'm going to get cancer of the everything and it will be rad. Is it better to burn out or fade away?? Looks like I'm gonna burn out! Rock and roll, muthafuckas.

Conventional Medicine and I have really not been getting along lately.

A few months ago I sat down Conventional Medicine and told it that, even though I love it, I'm not in love with it. Conventional Medicine begged, pleaded, cried, then accused me of cheating on it with kale. And, well, valid point, kale and I did have a few one-night stands, but they never lasted. It's still no excuse for calling me "a conniving, two-timing hobag," or for throwing that toaster at my head.

Conventional Medicine gets mean when it drinks.

Anyway, I'm dusting myself off and trying to envision a drug-free life. (Oh, I'm also listening to "Since U Been Gone" on repeat. Do you hear me, Conventional Meds??) This blog is a chronicle of my wild stabs at "self-healing," kicking, screaming, and glowering at my plate of vegetables. Join me, won't you?

Love,
Caitlin