Integrative Nutrition

My body is like the girl who was a raging bitch to me in high school, but now, through a Rom-Com conceit, she and I are forced to spend time together to learn to see eye-to-eye. And, just like in a Rom-Com, it's going to be a bumpy ride.

Here are some things we know about each other.

I love sugar. Sugar is an affront to her very fiber.


Caffeine is one of my favorite things, ever. She acts like she and caffeine are cool, but after about an hour, she turns really moody and mean and I have to apologize for her later.

Sometimes I just want a goddamn enchilada. Sometimes she just wants to make me regret ever being born.

See? We're not working out.

This is part of what makes this whole "listen to your body" thing so hard: even when I'm treating her well, my body is still mercurial, power-trippy, and sulky.

At some point, we're going to have to drop the decades-long feud and learn to get along.

And maybe, just maybe, with a little warmth and understanding, we can even form a happy family. Like this little moppet:

Oh no. Isn't she in jail again?

Ugh, I give up.