Here’s the thing: I am not only a creature of civilization, I’m an asthmatic person. I will only live so long as I have stockpiled the proper inhalers. I’m effectively a cyborg. You know how in Jurassic Park, they bred those dinosaurs with the lysine deficiencies, so if they ever got off the island, they’d die? That’s me. I’m the dinosaur that’s going to die in the New World.
- John Hodgman, via The Onion AV Club
Sunday before bed, I ate two Pillsbury cookies. I got violently ill and woke the next day feeling like someone had taken a cheese grater to my stomach.
On Monday, I had chicken enchiladas. The rest of the evening was spent rending my garments and shaking my fist at an unfair God.
If John Hodgman is a Lysine-deficient T-rex, I'd put myself somewhere around this guy:
 | ||
(I found this picture at work.
A coworker walked by, looked at it, and went,
"Oh, when I was in the Peace Corps, I ate one of those.") |
Before anyone gets too bummed out, consider, if you will, his adorable scrappiness. He's also stylin' in Day-Glo green!
This little dude will be okay. Unless, of course, Jeff eats him.
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